just trying to eat my waffles

September 22, 2005

Apprentice Blogging

Apprentice blogging will get me through this slump.

Repeat.

Apprentice blogging will get me through this slump.

So i saw the premier of Martha Stewart's Apprentice last night and it was...

Oh wait. Dawn did that already. Aw hell, just go read hers.

Best line of course was at the end when Martha tells the firee that he didn't fail, he just "didn't fully succeed." i'll have to remember that one.

Dear Father,
i regret to tell you that i'll be moving home again on account of they kicked me out of law school. Something about spending less time on the internet and more time reading cases or something like that. Anyways, the good news is i didn't fail, i just didn't fully succeed.
cordially,
a

Posted by: annika at 02:57 PM | Comments (26) | Add Comment
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1 Hmm... You really are in a slump. Its way too obvious that you are trying to pick on somebody you dont like. I think martha's comment was ok. And im still pissed that you called britney skankwoman!

Posted by: jeff at September 22, 2005 07:24 PM (n+RKP)

2 Jeff, you're young. You'll get over it. As for me, my years are few, and wasting time reading even half of that liveblog makes me feel resentful of the time I've lost. I think that I'd like to smother fuck Martha. You know, where you hold the pillow over her face and she kicks and bucks like an animal? Trouble is, you can only do it once.

Posted by: Casca at September 22, 2005 08:02 PM (qBTBH)

3 Hey casca......since when did they allow internet access to patients in mental institutions? Here I thought annika was some sweet innocent simple cali girl......what the heck kind of friends does she have?

Posted by: jeff at September 22, 2005 08:49 PM (n+RKP)

4 Casca, where did we find this guy Jeff? I thought I told him that Annika was a gay black guy in drag. I guess he doesn't believe me. Now as to Martha. I think it better to do a Rodeo with her. That's where you get behind her in a doggy position, reach down and tell her that her breasts feel almost as good as her sister's, then hit the stopwatch to see how long you can hold on. When you are done, just shoot her with one of Annie's guns. You pick it, but I like the Glock 9MM at about 7 feet, using the standard Marine method of emptying the clip.

Posted by: shelly at September 23, 2005 02:17 AM (M7kiy)

5 By the way, Annie, if you do not "totally succeed" in law school, I will personally hunt you down and shoot you. You are way too smart to let those jerks intimidate or depress you. Don't you know the adage, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach."? Law School Professors (with a few notable exceptions) could not make their way in the real world. Do not let them get you down. Remember, in about five years, you'll be able to buy and sell them and they'll be relying on your donations and those of others to get by. Hang in there, we are really with you.

Posted by: shelly at September 23, 2005 02:26 AM (M7kiy)

6 Shelly, do you work in D.C. by any chance? I work at a law firm (in IT) in Washington, and you kinda remind me of someone here.

Posted by: Victor at September 23, 2005 05:29 AM (L3qPK)

7 and annika? If you leave law school, it'll be OK with me, if it's for the right reasons. Flunking out or getting booted are wrong reasons and I will lose a tremendous amount of respect for you. BUT, if you feel the law isn't for you--by all means, beat feet. You have to try something before you know if it's for you; the law is no different. I have a friend who went to law school, practiced for a couple of years, then decided she hated working in a firm. Private practice appealed to her even less. However, law school didn't go to waste--she started working in the legal dept for a local utility, and now she's one of their (rather succesful) executives. (Personally, I don't see you working as an exec. I see you opening up several very chic, very expensive shoe stores. Heckuva way to feed your habit

)

Posted by: Victor at September 23, 2005 05:36 AM (L3qPK)

8 C'mon, Annie, you're a 2L -- it gets easier from here on out! Let's not have any of this rubbish about getting kicked out; you're far, far too smart for that. Hell, if I made it you certainly can! Sounds like you need to decompress a little. If you're really exhausted by the blog, and/or it's taking up too much time, just give it a rest. We'd hate to see that happen, but we'd get over it; real life should be a much higher priority than the selfish wants of a bunch of strangers on the 'Net. And I think, in the end, most of us would rather see you do well for yourself than see you blog yourself into oblivion. I would suggest that you throw a knees-up, get half-pissed and have a good knobbing -- but that'd be wrong. That'd be wrong. Right? Right! Right.

Posted by: Matt at September 23, 2005 07:22 AM (10G2T)

9 Annie, remember what I told you long ago? First year they scare you to death. Second year they work you to death. Third year they bore you to death. Any way you look at it, you are dead for three years. Even if you don't want to ever practice law, the education is worth the candle. You may not drop out for any reason, or you face the wrath of all of us who have been through the grinder and survived. Victor, no, I have not worked in The District since 1962-3, when I began my career working for the Attorney General in D.C. Two winters and one summer was all I could bear, being an Angeleno, I was not able to acclimate to the severe weather, although working for Bobby was always a challenge. The thought of facing a second summer of sweltering, oppressive heat from the swamp called the Potomac Basin was too much for a guy who lives in Santa Monica. Besides, the women, while plentiful, just didn't have the style of the Southern California beauties to whom I had become accustomed. But, living in Georgetown was fun during the winter, I have to give it that...

Posted by: shelly at September 23, 2005 08:08 AM (M7kiy)

10 Gentlemen, gentlemen, if you think that anni would quit anything, excluding extreme circumstance, then you just don't know our girl. She's a rock. She's Santana Moss in the 4th Qtr on MNF. She's the Buckeye defense. As for emptying the magazine "Marine style", we carried that ammo all the way out here. You didn't expect us to carry it back?

Posted by: Casca at September 23, 2005 08:27 AM (qBTBH)

11 Well, he DID ask questions: "Hey casca......since when did they allow internet access to patients in mental institutions?" Like I said, you're young. It's a sick world, and I've always tried to be best. "Here I thought annika was some sweet innocent simple cali girl." You really need a firmer grip on reality as you sail through life, or you'll never get your bow into the wind. "what the heck kind of friends does she have?" The absolute very best kind... erudite, masculine, literate, loyal, realistic, well-rounded guys for the most part, except for Victor. He's just a perv.

Posted by: Casca at September 23, 2005 08:37 AM (qBTBH)

12 Youth must be served; no one wants to be the waiter.

Posted by: shelly at September 24, 2005 08:48 AM (ywZa8)

13 Did I miss something? I really did miss something, didn't I. What's all this nonsense about failing out? Annie riffed off Martha's quote, but I didn't catch the subtext that Annie was really writing about her own academic failure. How could she be failing already? The semester is still young. A blogging slump, however, is something I can understand. Since Annie hates the American Skankwoman with such passon, here's a post I hope will amuse. In it, Britney Spears and Arnold Schwarzenegger discuss theories of mind while touching each other inappropriately. Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim at September 24, 2005 09:16 AM (1PcL3)

14 Hey! no Ragging on Arnold! He is my hero, (really!) I made it through Hurricane Rita without a scrape. Just a little differnce between Texas and Louisiana, We had a local Wal-mart looted, and sixteen looters were apprehended before they could make it out of the store!

Posted by: Kyle N at September 24, 2005 10:39 AM (7qtiD)

15 Please tell me that they were hung in the parking lot as a warning to others? I'm in the process of watching the Buckeyes DESTROY the Hawkeyes. If it wasn't for the refs it would have been 31 - zip at the half. Life happens ten yards at a time.

Posted by: Casca at September 24, 2005 11:31 AM (qBTBH)

16 Oregon 13, USC O. Then the boys from Troy settled down. Final, USC 45, Oregon 13. Trojans rule; Ducks drool.

Posted by: shelly at September 25, 2005 12:01 AM (6krEN)

17 Casca, you shoot looters on sight, not hang them on sight. Takes too long. For choice of weapon, see Annie's endless posts comparing Swiss, Italian, German and other exotic weaponary. As I remember it, it was the Colt revolver that tamed the Wild West. A Colt .45 still is the gold standard for pure stopping power. In close up and personal combat, I think one of those would end the debate quicker than stopping to hang some idiots who are solving their hunger and thirst by grabbing a big screen TV.

Posted by: shelly at September 25, 2005 05:23 AM (6krEN)

18 Easy on there old fruit, I think that I know how to put down insurrection. Nothing sends a message like bodys hanging from lamposts, whether they died that way or not is immaterial. As for ducks and the dickcovers, I watched the game. The officials kept SC in it, and then gave it to them. Most of the country doesn't know this, because the game wasn't nationally televised. TWO OREGON TOUCHDOWNS WERE CALLED BACK!!! The officials were in the USC tank. USC is going to take an asswhiping. You heard it here first. Could be next week, or could be in early January in the Rose Bowl.

Posted by: Casca at September 26, 2005 12:04 AM (qBTBH)

19 ASU? ASU? In OUR house? I'd say pretty doubtful Maybe on January 4, if Texas gets an offense and defense that can go four quarters, it may be close, but not next week. And certainly not UCLA, either who also plays in our house this year. SC is three deep at every position, especially the interior lines. No other college team can keep up with them. What you saw happen is that Oregon played the first string right through until they just plain tuckered out. Typical USC M.O. See if you can say "Three-peat". P.S. John David Booty will be better than Palmer or Leinart, and everyone knows it. Look for at least two more years of this fun, but even I can't say "Five-peat". But Pete Carroll can.

Posted by: shelly at September 26, 2005 01:22 AM (M7kiy)

20 Dude, you got no D. I don't think Texas makes the run to the Roses. Oklahoma, Texas Tech, or the Aggies will trip them. What I saw in Oregon was PAC 10 officiating propping up USC. It's hard to win when your TD's are called back, and no flags are thrown on the USC offense's obvious holding. This is the same kind of shit that used to go on with Miami all the way through the championship in '02. Eventually a team comes along that doesn't buy the bullshit in the sportspages.

Posted by: Casca at September 26, 2005 10:30 AM (qBTBH)

21 Some team like the toothless wonders of Stawberry Canyon? You guys never cease to amaze me; they must put something in the water in Berkeley that creates permanent wishful thinking when you mix it with Cool-Aid. You are looking at a dynasty; yup, the D is young and takes a little adjusting, but ater 13 quick ones, it was 45 to 0. Shows me some D even if it was a 14 man formation. Hell, w've always had that... Oklahoma is weak; Texas will whip them, but no one is going to beat USC this year, except maybe themselves. So far, the coaching has shown it is up to the task. Remember, Pete is a D coach. Sorry, Bub, this is written down already; the only question is will they beat the spread? Saturday is is only 17, giving a slight nod to ASU's ability, I guess. There is no money line. Surprise.

Posted by: shelly at September 26, 2005 05:45 PM (M7kiy)

22 I'll type this real slow so you can understand what I'm saying. USC has no defense. When they play a team with a real defense, Leinart will fold like a cheap suit, and a real offense will have their way with the USC defense. There are at least two teams in the country better than USC; Ohio State & VA Tech.

Posted by: Casca at September 26, 2005 10:39 PM (qBTBH)

23 Granted, the Defense is young and somewhat inexperienced, but they are talented and deep, three deep at most positions. This gives them the ability to play moderately well throughout the game, as opposed to most others that have no depth. When Booty gets a little better (he's gonna get a LOT better), they can platoon with him and Matt, and Reggie and Lendale, plus the rest of the line. Watch closely; they will consistantly dominate the last half of the third and the fourth quarters. No one is going to beat USC this year; they do not play the Hoakies, and the Buckeyes are unlikely to find their way to Pasadena. At least VaTech has a coach. It's gonna be the Horns and the Trojans. You can go back to typing fast. One article from a disgruntled Austin writer doesn't do it for me. Fight On!!!

Posted by: shelly at September 28, 2005 12:37 AM (6mUkl)

24 When it comes to football, you sir are a provencial hick.

Posted by: Casca at September 28, 2005 03:36 PM (qBTBH)

25 I am not happy tonight. I wanted to watch the second edition of the Martha Stewart Apprentice show, and the local cable company lost both channel 4 and channel 7 at about 8:20 and didn't get them back until after 9. I ended up watching Rocky Laporte on Comedy Central, which was enjoyable, but Not Quite The Same.

Posted by: Ontario Emperor at September 28, 2005 10:50 PM (V6D5w)

26 Disappointing. The playground way of signaling one is losing an argument is to resort to argumentum ad hominem. I very may well be "provincial", in fact, I often wish I were, of course, referring to the coastal Southern area of France called the Cote d'Azur and also known as Provence. The proof is in the pudding. If Ohio State (what ever happened to Woody Hayes' theory about not passing?) manages to grunt itself into Pasadena on January 4 and actually beats USC, I'll concede. If not, USC still gets just about all the votes for first place, so the entire sports journalism fraternity must also be provincial, so I'll just hunker down and keep watching them win (and cover) every single week, Defense or no. FIGHT ON!! (It has meaning, once again, but I doubt anyone not from USC can understand it)

Posted by: shelly at September 29, 2005 05:35 AM (6mUkl)

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It Was Only A Matter Of Time...

... before somebody spoofed Bob Dylan's classic "Hurricane." Check out Mister Snitch's version. It's crazy good.

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September 21, 2005

Question 2 For The Day

What if Sacramento won a sports championship and nobody cared?

Posted by: annika at 11:21 AM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
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1 What if a Connecticut team lost a women's basketball title and no one noticed? This state is crazy for UConn, but doesn't give a sh#t for the Sun. I didn't even know they played until the highlights on sportscenter this morning. If the Huskies had been playing, I couldn't have avoided all the talk about it at the office.

Posted by: Trevor at September 21, 2005 11:32 AM (RwZxT)

2 It took 41 minutes to cover their win on ESPN SportsCenter last night. I live in Sac (sort of) and could care less. ThE WNBA is less than a joke, as is Sacramento...

Posted by: Stu Clark at September 21, 2005 11:56 AM (qB6yb)

3 You mean it's over? For some reason, I find it like the men's NBA - incredibly boring and impossible to care who wins. College hoops, OTOH...

Posted by: MarkD at September 21, 2005 12:07 PM (oQofX)

4 Annika and I must be telepathically connected. I wrote a post on the WNBA team names last night. http://marknicodemo.mu.nu/archives/121831.php

Posted by: Mark at September 21, 2005 12:09 PM (Vg0tt)

5 "Nobody" is a bit extreme. I'm sure that there are AT LEAST a half dozen lezzies who are ecstatic. Anyone got a program?

Posted by: Casca at September 21, 2005 05:28 PM (qBTBH)

6 The Houston WNBA team is so annoying, they break into coverage of football and baseball talk on the local sports station. BTW, I might have to flee Houston, not looking forward to it.

Posted by: Kyle N at September 21, 2005 05:51 PM (fabEL)

7 more importantly, did anyone notice that UC Davis, div 1AA, beat Stanford last weekend? In football!

Posted by: wayne at September 21, 2005 07:48 PM (j5pbE)

8 Well if one cares to peal back the scab... Stanford sucks, ND sucked while Willingham was there, and now Washington sucks... LCD? David Willingham, and that's kinda sad. Wonderful fellow, but not a great football coach. Now this fellow Weir? The Irish be back. Look out Shelly, they're coming to beat your ass.

Posted by: Casca at September 21, 2005 09:33 PM (qBTBH)

9 WNBA?....isn't that cute...

Posted by: TBinSTL at September 22, 2005 02:25 AM (Vq/8g)

10 Update, I cannot flee Houston, I'm stuck here.

Posted by: Kyle N at September 22, 2005 07:22 AM (Ymusa)

11 Go Aggies!

Posted by: annika at September 22, 2005 07:49 AM (OZvBt)

12 As a former Aggie, I was pretty excited about the upset over Stanford. However, Jim Rome calling it the biggest upset in college history was a bit much. The Aggies have had a great football program for decades. Regarding the WNBA, how can anybody get excited about games that consistently feature missed lay-ups, poor offensive execution, horrible shooting, and 1-2 inch vertical leaping ability? I know it's not PC to say so, but it is just bad basketball, which is made even less compelling by its relative lack of athleticism.

Posted by: Blu at September 22, 2005 02:23 PM (h1bHe)

13 did you see the parade Blu? Traffic around downtown was snarled on account of the couple dozen or so fans who showed up to cheer on the monarchs! it was incredible!

Posted by: annika at September 22, 2005 02:40 PM (zAOEU)

14 Darn it...I missed it! I kinda felt bad for the Monarchs. World Champs and they didn't even get a real parade. The local talk radio guy described it as a "mini-parade." Pathetic....but as you pointed out----who cares?

Posted by: Blu at September 22, 2005 03:05 PM (h1bHe)

15 i saw it. i happened to be downtown for other reasons. it was a mini parade. quite pitiful. i saw the 49ers parade, the last time they won the superbowl. now THAT was a parade.

Posted by: annika at September 22, 2005 06:58 PM (rR9hN)

16 If they wanted a parade, they should have had in Palm Springs where their fans are.

Posted by: Casca at September 22, 2005 07:53 PM (qBTBH)

17 Notre Dame beat USC? Which year? Certainly not this one. They won't have to "come beat your asses", since the game is in South Bend this year. At least they won't have to endure the long ride home. Look, no one is going to beat USC this year. They are three deep at every position; the platooning keeps them all rested, whilst the opposing teams play their starters all through the game. The simple, forseeable result is that by the end of the third quarter, everyone is dragging their asses except the Trojans. Bingo. Norm Chow - eat your heart out.

Posted by: shelly at September 25, 2005 05:34 AM (6krEN)

18 You're gonna fall a loooooong way talking that shit.

Posted by: Casca at September 26, 2005 02:55 PM (qBTBH)

19 This isn't really what I was hoping for

Posted by: lezzies at November 12, 2005 06:17 PM (AqDGi)

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Question 1 For The Day

What if Rita Cosby moved to MSNBC and nobody noticed?

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Wednesday Is Poetry Day

i used to read a poetry message board, where amateur poets went for affirmation. Some of the most common poems, and some of the worst, were poems about Autumn. Leaves changing color and leaves falling were favorite subjects of these poets. After about two dozen of these, you never want to read another poem about autumn again. It's almost as bad as teenage angst poetry. Well no, nothing is quite as bad as that.

The gold standard for poems about falling leaves was written by Emily Dickinson a long time ago.

Ribbons of the Year―
Multitude Brocade―
Worn to Nature's Party once
Then, as flung aside
As a faded Bead
Or a Wrinkled Pearl
Who shall charge the Vanity
Of the Maker's Girl?

Fall has always been the most introspective season for me. (While i say "introspective," some might call it "moody.") As i approach this year's equinox, i'll keep in mind Dickinson's prayer:

Besides the Autumn poets sing
A few prosaic days
A little this side of the snow
And that side of the Haze―
A few incisive Mornings―
A few Ascetic Eves―
Gone -- Mr. Bryant's "Golden Rod"―
And Mr. Thomson's "sheaves."
Still, is the bustle in the Brook―
Sealed are the spicy valves―
Mesmeric fingers softly touch
The Eyes of many Elves―
Perhaps a squirrel may remain―
My sentiments to share―
Grant me, Oh Lord, a sunny mind―
Thy windy will to bear!

Posted by: annika at 07:54 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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September 20, 2005

Graphic Novel Idea

i've been working on an idea for the next Great American Graphic Novel, to be written, drawn, inked and lettered by me. i suck at drawing, so that might be a problem, but i can ink, i think. My lettering skills are inconsistent, but hey, that's what they invented Comic Sans for, right?

This Great American Graphic Novel, or G.A.G.N. let's call it, will be aimed at the adult market. i plan to include lots of four letter words, sex, gratuitous violence, and women with bullet shaped titties. i'm still undecided on a title. So far, i have a couple of possibilities.

Death Marcher
Death Takes a Powder
Deadly Sin
The Deadliest Sin
Deadzine
Death-o-rama
Death in WiFi
A Dumass Way to Die
Death is for Dumasses
Kill Me Deadlily
Bicycle of Death
Mr. Killee, Killer of Genius
Hit Parade of Death
Death on a Shingle
The Dead Have No Eyeballs
Sugar Deadly
Color Me Die
Wacky Train to Deathville
The Murderer Who Liked to Kill People
Demarcation of Death
Demarcation of Death II, The Awakening
The Stoogemaster
Traffic Circle of Death
A Fine Way to Die, Wally
Dying is an Ugly Business
The Death Tram
The Death Pram
Only 45 Minutes to Deadway
More Death's A-Killin'
Take A Memo, Death
Why Do the Dead Always Die?
A Fun Time for Dying
Do We Die Now?
Did We Die Yet?
Fuck, I'm Dead!
Murder at the Circle K
Even Killers Get the Blues
Only Killers Get the Blues
Why Do Killers Get the Blues?
18" Rims of Death
For Death's Sake
The Drama Club Murders
A Dharma Death
Murder by Fiddlesticks
Deathslope
Deathslide
Deathramp
Doing a Death Right
Killer of the Dead
Killer of the Dead II, The Awakening
North Dallas Deadly, A Sports Thriller
The Killer Who Left the Toilet Seat Up
Deadly Games the Dead Play
Core of Death
The Semantics of Murder
Cubicle of the Dead
Cuticle of the Dead
The Chronic Killer
'Tis a Far Better Death
It Slices, It Dices, It Dies
Death Knoll
Death Knell

i particularly like Death Knell, but i want to save it for a mass market paperback idea i have. i'll change the name to Death Nell, and the story will involve a kick-ass girl crime scene investigator/hooker named Nell, who is also a vampire hunter. Or maybe she'll be a vampire herself, who knows. i still need to do the market research on that.

But getting back to my graphic novel idea. The working title for my G.A.G.N. is currently Statute of Limitations, which has a nice ring to it. i haven't plotted the whole story out yet, but i have the basic outline in mind. It's about a family of rabbits in space. They go around having adventures and helping people.

i also have a cover design. Wanna see it? Here it is.

Don't steal my idea.

Posted by: annika at 06:26 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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The Cotillion Dolls

This week's Cotillion Ball is hosted by Beth at My VRWC, Sadie at Fistful of Fortnights, Soldier's Angel Holly Aho, SondraK at Knowledge Is Power and Jody at Steal the Bandwagon. There are many pictures, go to it!

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Ooops

Was it just me, or did anyone else hear Hugh Hewitt let a bad word slip out on the radio this afternoon?

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September 19, 2005

When A Blogger Feels Like She's Down For The Count

When a blogger feels like she's down for the count, she should:

a) pick herself up, dust herself off, start all over again;

b) finally edit and post that Kill Bill 2 symposium she's been sitting on for-fucking-ever;

c) recycle old posts;

d) realize that she'll never be quite so charming, funny and cynical all at the same time as her idols Ginger, Candace or Dawn, then give up;

e) two words: sex blogging.

Posted by: annika at 08:49 PM | Comments (24) | Add Comment
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1 darling, you have always been all that and more. don't give up! then we'll be almost all gone! and really, when we think of our sadness at no longer living in the blogosphere, you are one of those we think of first. really. in the meantime, my vote goes for kill bill 2, or gun stories.

Posted by: candy girl at September 19, 2005 08:55 PM (Cp+JE)

2 Well, that makes it 1 to about 200 for sex blogging (with pictures). Whatever you do, forget about picking football; it is definitely not your thing.

Posted by: shelly at September 19, 2005 09:52 PM (M7kiy)

3 Vintage boxing photos like that will keep me coming here.

Posted by: Chris at September 20, 2005 04:02 AM (fdN2d)

4 Only Democrats quit when they're down.

Posted by: Victor at September 20, 2005 04:36 AM (L3qPK)

5 pick self up and start blogging again. +1 only demonrats quit when they are down. keep pluggin along something will click. r

Posted by: r at September 20, 2005 06:14 AM (nVuk6)

6 Do what you have always been doing. I have always been impressed with your breath of your knowledge and interests. And that has brought me to your blog often. Please keep giving us pleasant surprises.

Posted by: Jake at September 20, 2005 06:36 AM (r/5D/)

7 Annie, Your usual alacrity is not necessary; I would read a shopping list posted on your site, and be sufficiently entertained. Please keep blogging and know you have die-hard fans. Mark W

Posted by: Mark W at September 20, 2005 07:01 AM (yTuVc)

8 f) Realize that she's already as charming, funny and cynical all at the same time as her idols, and keep on truckin'. Take a break to recharge batteries if necessary.

Posted by: Matt at September 20, 2005 07:39 AM (10G2T)

9 Hey is it time for another Annika Jepordy??? (that is once you get some new batteries or your batteries recharged or whatever the current holdup is...) After all I almost got one of the last ones right.

Posted by: Drake Steel at September 20, 2005 08:04 AM (M2tSh)

10 Nice one Shelly. Kick the girl when she's down. If anything we need MORE football. I live for the weekend just around the corner when the clay feet of the Trojans will be exposed. Yes, we need more boob shots.

Posted by: Casca at September 20, 2005 08:22 AM (qBTBH)

11 Your breasts of knowledge have kept me coming often. Please keep it up.

Posted by: d-rod at September 20, 2005 08:23 AM (o2s7U)

12 Write about anything... and don't worry about going through a dry patch. All bloggers do. I just blither on about my injuries until I feel suitably inspired. You are witty and charming and playful. You were the first person to comment on my blog two years ago, and the first person I linked to. And if you do do sex blogging...

Posted by: Hugo at September 20, 2005 08:49 AM (MG0tp)

13 Miss Annika, Write about whatever you wish, as often or as seldom as you wish. Don't worry about us; if you have fun writing that's all that really matters. One thing though; if you can blog while having sex then we really need to get you some more creative (& physically active) partners.

Posted by: Publicola at September 20, 2005 10:44 AM (vC8Ev)

14 Is Heather in the Cotillion? She pulls down about $5 million a year: [deleted]

Posted by: Casca at September 20, 2005 04:53 PM (qBTBH)

15 Just find something new to obsess about, like the upcomeing Serenity movie and the show that spawned it, Firefly.....I'm just saying..... Seriously, that's my current obsession so you should feel free to pick your own. We will follow you down whatever strange or dark path you choose.

Posted by: TBinSTL at September 20, 2005 06:47 PM (Vq/8g)

16 I LOVE it when I'm censored! Who knew that you'd draw the line at linking to Heather Brooke's very tasteful website?

Posted by: Casca at September 20, 2005 09:55 PM (qBTBH)

17 i can't allow any links to someone with bigger tits than me.

Posted by: annika at September 21, 2005 01:24 AM (j+KCy)

18 "Tasteful" get it? Don't worry, she got them out of a box.

Posted by: Casca at September 21, 2005 07:21 AM (qBTBH)

19 Um.... I'm new here, is this something we get to vote on?

Posted by: Mr. Snitch at September 22, 2005 11:21 AM (2CNDQ)

20 I obviously missed something. Slump? No slump is forever. As Chuang-tzu said, "When the dick flaps in one direction, it must eventually flap in the other." Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim at September 24, 2005 08:51 AM (1PcL3)

21 I checked out Heather Brooke's site - great, now I have another stretched out pear of underwear.

Posted by: Radical Redneck at September 24, 2005 10:40 AM (7XTy8)

22 Well... There IS something to be said for sex blogging. Remember that bit I posted about the effects of semen on women's happiness that you linked to? I'm STILL getting hits on that post via your link, months later.

So...make of it what you will.

Posted by: Desert Cat at September 24, 2005 11:23 PM (xdX36)

23 that makes me happy. : )

Posted by: annika at September 25, 2005 12:08 AM (Ez/ng)

24 What kinds of comments are these?

Posted by: www.free sex stories at November 12, 2005 03:09 PM (AqDGi)

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After Seinfeld

Are Wednesdays on ABC the best hope for a return of "Must-See TV?"

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The Return Of annika's MNF Pick

Dallas is favored by 5½ points. i'd take Dallas minus the points because they plan to honor Troy, Michael and Emmitt tonight. The Cowboys should be up for this home game and besides, the Redskins aren't going anywhere this year.

Unrelated football note: L.A. has been without a football team for what, ten years now? New Orleans doesn't even exist, but they have a football team. How embarrassing is that.

Update: Amy was at the game!

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1 That's a no-brainer. What about the Nawlins game? It's a double header.

Posted by: Casca at September 19, 2005 02:39 PM (qBTBH)

2 I'd rather have no team than have the Raiders. The average Raider fan comes on a Harley Hawg, has at least three tattoos, has served at leat 30 days in one jail or another... And, that's just the women.

Posted by: shelly at September 19, 2005 02:59 PM (M7kiy)

3 My own team the Texans sucked it up so much that they just fired their off. coordinator after two games! Guess I can still be a cowboys fan.

Posted by: Kyle N at September 19, 2005 03:11 PM (3zRXt)

4 I'll have to take Dallas, because the Big Tuna is going to get them into the playoffs.

Posted by: Alexa at September 19, 2005 03:42 PM (oTIkE)

5 We have a local character in San Diego by the name of "King" Stahlman. He's in bail bonds. Last time we had the Superbowl down here, the local newsguys asked him at playoff time who he'd like to see in the game. His reply? "Oakland, they're good for business". Pre-911 I went to a Chargers/Raiders game where everyone was patted down before entry. Now of course the minimum wage shitheads do it to everyone, but in those days it was an afront.

Posted by: Casca at September 19, 2005 03:50 PM (qBTBH)

6 i have two tattoos. i guess that means i need a third. : 0

Posted by: annika at September 19, 2005 04:35 PM (zAOEU)

7 My picks are over at my site. I'm 18-10 so far this year against the spread. Not bad eh? Oh, and I took Dallas and gave 6.

Posted by: Pursuit at September 19, 2005 05:20 PM (n/TNS)

8 Sky masterson says "My Daddy told me that if a guy offers to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of a brand new, unopened pack of cards and spit cider in your eye, don't bet him; sure as Hell you are going to get cider in your eye". That's how Dallas looked tonight. On paper, at home, they should have been at least 13 point favorites, but the bookies know more than you guys. Obviously. I hope the cider didn't sting too much.

Posted by: shelly at September 19, 2005 09:58 PM (M7kiy)

9 By the way, Annie, see if you can figure out who the President of the Los Angeles Memeorial Coliseum Commission was the year that the Raiders left and went back to Oakland.

Posted by: shelly at September 19, 2005 10:00 PM (M7kiy)

10 Might this person be a district representative of the State Bar Board of Governors?

Posted by: annika at September 19, 2005 11:50 PM (f0eyK)

11 Might even be Vice President.

Posted by: shelly at September 20, 2005 01:59 AM (M7kiy)

12 My strategy will now be to look at annika's pick and go the other way. Heh. Dallas was winning for fifty-six minutes, babe! Gibbs is a genius!

Posted by: Victor at September 20, 2005 04:30 AM (L3qPK)

13 AND THATS WHY THEY PLAY THE GAME! Dallas does a Texas size CHOKE.

Posted by: Wayne at September 20, 2005 06:48 AM (IrbU4)

14 Dallas didn't put them away in the 3rd qtr when they should have. I predict that the long ball comes at Dallas all year.

Posted by: Casca at September 20, 2005 08:28 AM (qBTBH)

15 As a native of Louisiana, I humbly offer you the New Orleans Saints. You can have em!

Posted by: Ken at September 20, 2005 12:16 PM (xD5ND)

16 I vote for nakid pics!

Posted by: Kyle N at September 20, 2005 02:53 PM (JfV4t)

17 Things could be worse: http://rschultz.blogspot.com/2005/09/french-kiss-head-coach-bill-parcells.html

Posted by: Casca at September 20, 2005 04:47 PM (qBTBH)

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Broussard's Soundbite Debunked

It was still one of the most difficult things to watch in the history of tv news. But the finger pointing it spawned needs to be revised.

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September 15, 2005

Skankwoman Open Comments

Brittany has a baby boy! Please use the comments to let us know what you bought the Federlines from their baby shower gift registry.

i got them the baby blue mini cuspidor from Oshkosh B'Gosh and a little tin of Baby Skoal.

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New Gun Nut Progress Report III

Here's the next in my series of novice gun reviews. This post should be subtitled "Teutonic Target Shooting, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."

My quest for the perfect handgun to purchase started out with the 9mm Sig Sauer P226. i think you all remember how crazy i was for that gun. i'm glad it was the first pistol i ever fired because it has become the benchmark by which all others are measured. In fact Sig Sauer has reinforced my long-standing preference for Teutonic engineering. So i figured, as long as i'm test driving guns, i should check out all the German makes i can get my hands on. more...

Posted by: annika at 12:16 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment
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1 Am I the only one who finds hot, young, conservative women waxing eloquently about German handguns arousing?

Posted by: Robbie at September 15, 2005 06:16 AM (lbWbV)

2 Well I'm glad you at least gave the Glock a try. Now you know why people either love them or hate them. In the Auto Dept. as far as I'm concerned you aren't going to find a better gun than an H&K. I have shot thousands of rounds through them and I love them. They might be ugly but they are the best thing going in the semi-auto. Plus they also make my favorite CQB weapon which is the MP-5. If you ever get a chance to play with an MP-5 just for fun don't pass it up as they are a blast to shoot. So will you be trying any revolvers or is your heart set on an auto?

Posted by: Andy at September 15, 2005 06:37 AM (688sS)

3 I have shot all three guns and swear by the Glock. The biggest reason is its simplicity. If you draw a gun from a holster and need to shoot someone you don't want to mess with an external safety. The fine motor movements needed to disengage it will be exceedingly difficult under stress. I also like the fact that I've shot over 5,000 rounds through it with only one or two malfunctions. I used to own a ParaOrdnance 1911 that probably had 1 every 200 rounds. I don't like the HK which is otherwise a fine gun, because if you've shot 1911s you are trained to ride the safety. Meaning, you draw from the holster with thumb on safety. You push down on safety when your eyes are on the sight and the barrel is pointed downrange. If you keep your thumb on safety--which is simplest and the typical 1911 style of shooting--then as you shoot if you push down on HK USP safety you'll tend to engage decock. If you pull trigger when decock is engaged, the gun won't shoot. You'll think you had a failure to fire so you'll "tap rack bang;" at that point, you'll be losing confidence in gun, especially if it happens again. Great shooting Annika. The key for someone with basic safety and marksmanship down is transitioning from the "square range" mentality to combat shooting. In other words, investing in software (your skills) and not just hardware. I strongly recommend Scotty Reitz in the LA area for his pistol course. He's LAPD SWAT and has a great course; I took his precision rifle course a few years ago and loved it.

Posted by: Roach at September 15, 2005 07:36 AM (MRlvg)

4 "It's plastic, sure, but it feels like the kind of lightweight plastic that toys are made out of." Light is good if you are carrying it all day. "It's basically point and shoot, no nonsense." Which in a stressful situation is a good thing. If you have to remember if you gun is cocked or uncochked, safty on or off when you want to use it, that could take vauable time. "And the trigger pull itself was way too light, which i can't believe is very safe" You can get a heavier trigger, which many do. It is called a New York Trigger. I know you have ruled out glock, but I still want to highlight why in some cases they things you don't like can be fixed or they are good things. Also, several of the things you don't like about the glock are fixed in the spring field XD. It has a fully supported chamber. It has the 1911 grip angle (the USP does also). It is a little heavier than the glock. Though it still has the DOA action, but it does have a grip saftly. As a side note, check out the price of the HK. It is an excellent handgun, but you also pay for the priviledge of owning one. Another thing about HK is that their customer service is not all that great (from stories I have heard), unless you are a police department or miltary department. That basiclly stems from the fact that in Europe their is no civillian gun market, but in America there is. So many european comapnies end up getting miltary contracts (IE HK and SIG picked up the DHS contract a year ago.)

Posted by: cube at September 15, 2005 07:42 AM (nyNr0)

5 Yes, Roach, but the HK can be configured by the user without the de-cocking lever if that is a concern.

Posted by: annika at September 15, 2005 07:44 AM (o9z5e)

6 That's the way to go with HK; either DAO or SAO style or DA/SA without decock (don't know if that last one's available). I also found ergonomics on it were weird, because when you pushed gun in front of you front sight pushed was low and you had to pull it up. Glock's high, but I'd rather see sight and align it that not see it and try to find it. But that's probably a matter of hand ergonomics that is neither here nor there. All three of these guns are good guns, but I urge you to run them through different drills besides square range drills to see which one you like. Consider how you'll use it, whether you'll carry, how easy is it to work controls under stress, how well does it shoot fast, how well does it shoot in low light etc. Plus get yourself a G2 Nitrolon by Surefire to go with any home defense gun.

Posted by: Roach at September 15, 2005 08:31 AM (MRlvg)

7 Was ist mit dir los? Hast du Walter vergessen? Meine P-5 ist prima. Sie ist schnittig und zuverlÃƒÂ¤ssig. Wenn sie ladete ist, ist sie ganz sicher. Aber sie fast nur neun Patrone. Ich eige zwei Sig Pistolen und sie sind auch sehr gut. Aber du sollst eine P-5 oder P-5C ausprobieren. - Verstehst du mein schrechlich Deutsch? TschÃƒÂ¼s!

Posted by: Jasen at September 15, 2005 08:59 AM (tx57x)

8 WHAT! Outrage! No snarky comments on Brittny & Kevin's demon offspring?

Posted by: Victor at September 15, 2005 10:17 AM (L3qPK)

9 Well, annie, I won't try to dissuade you. Guns are like wome. . . er, the opposite sex: There's no accounting for taste. To be fair, though, I did say the H&K has good ergonomics, and I certainly have no beef with its accuracy. (In general, though, accuracy and reliability are inversely related. E.g., the AK is noted for its reliability, but its accuracy is mediocre. Eugene Stoner's brainchild is an inherently accurate design, but not noted for going bang each time the trigger is pulled.) I very much doubt you'll find any Walther that you prefer to the H&K, if that's your cup of tea. For one thing, I don't think any of their current production full-sized pistols have external safeties. In fact, I'm hard-pressed to think of any DAO pistol that has a true external safety, other than (some configurations of) the H&K. (I assume you want DAO, not DA/SA? It's not completely clear from your post, but I really don't like mixing the two and I find it hard to imagine why anyone else would want to do so.) It's a shame; there are some great pistols out there that you're missing by insisting on an external safety and, apparently, DAO. Heck, you're excluding essentially the entire universe of revolvers! What would Harry Callahan say? On the other hand, if you do decide to go with the USP perhaps you'll be inspired to dress up like a blonde Lara Croft and have some pics taken -- pics that you'll then post here, naturally. (For the sake of the single guys, of course.) P.S.: I never get hit by ejected cases from my Glock. The precise direction that cases eject varies from individual pistol to individual pistol.

Posted by: Matt at September 15, 2005 10:24 AM (2mxBl)

10 "itÂ’s a good case for keeping your booger-hook off the bang-switch" lol I admire H&K engineering. I don't know anything about their pistols, but their rifles are incredible. I used to have an H&K 91, what a weapon. Too fucking heavy to carry around unless you're Ahnold. The great thing about H&K is that they create a superior basic design, and then carry it through their entire series. Learn one weapon, you know the entire series.

Posted by: Casca at September 15, 2005 10:41 AM (qBTBH)

11 One problem with DA/SA guns is that you have two different weighted trigger pulls, such that your first and second shots may go in very different places and your muscle memory on the trigger will be very different. One other advantage to glocks. I went through multiple 1911s an HK and a few other guns before settling on the Glock.

Posted by: Roach at September 15, 2005 12:20 PM (MRlvg)

12 I gotta admit, I never saw the beef with the traditonal DA/Sa that most folks do. Way I see thing is that if you need to draw & fire in a hurry your trget is going ot be close enough where it won't matter much if your first shot is a few inches away from your second. If the target is far enough away where you have to be a little more deliberate with your aim, then cocking the pistol shouldn't be that much of an issue, or hauling ass to some cover while you do so for that matter. A DAO - I always thought it was yet another great solution in search of a real problem. The same could be said of the traditonal DA/SA but I think if it applies to the latter then it applies to the former by a factor of 3. Maybe it's just the way i was raised, but having an external safety never presented much of a problem for me. Flip it down on the draw then move the thumb below it. More motions than not messing with a safety at all, but for SA pistols it never seemed that much of a chore. I have a DA/Sa with a decocker & never ever had an unintentional decocking while shooting, even doing rapid fire drills. Again, could just be the way I was raised, but I don't see an eternal safety or a decocker as much of an issue. Jasen, I didn't know you spoke french.

(& yes; I still remember the chambering you wanted to have a Garand built in. Heretic. lol) Matt, I think the young lady wants a traditonal DA/SA. I thought I recalled her not being enamored with the DAO things. & on behalf of single guys I appreciate the attempt to get her to post more pics. Alas, methinks the young lady is too modest. Roach, To each his/her own but I still don't see what the big deal is in transitioning from DA to SA in a pistol. If it is that big of a deal then a SA would be a better choice. Usually you get a lighter, crisper trigger pull. You'd have an eternal safety to deal with, but seeing as how miss Annika wants one of those I don't see it as much of an issue at all. & the gentleman you recommend from the LAPD SWAT team - you wouldn't know if he was part of the group of that august body that wanted the .50 BMG banned for civilians would ya? Robbie, Nope you're not alone. But to be fair you'd aks the same question if the subject was creamy pasta.

Miss Annika, As enthusiastic as you seem to be about handguns I can't wait till you start trying out rifles.

& I second (or perhaps third) the call for more pics of the reviewer with the reviewees. But lost causes are a habit of mine. CZ or EAA Witness. Try one of those next. Along with a Browning Hi Power. & a Beretta 92 (9mm)or 96 (.40 S&W/.357 SIG) or its Taurus equivilent (PT-92 or PT-100 repsectively) should be on your list as well (the main difference is the Taurus has its safety on the frame rather than on the slide, so it's more like a 1911 safety than a Walther safety). & give the .357 SIG cartridge a try. More expensive ammo but you might dig it. It's like a souped up 9mm more or less & is supposed to try to duplicate the .357 magnum's stopping power in an auto. Never set one off myself but always heard they were interesting to try out. Plus in theory the bottlenecked case of the .357 SIG is less prone to feeding errors than a straight walled case like the 9mm or .40 S&W has. & did I second (or third) the motion for more pics?

Posted by: Publicola at September 15, 2005 01:09 PM (vC8Ev)

13 i'd post pictures, but since my range is a nudist range, they don't allow cameras, so sorry. ; )

Posted by: annika at September 15, 2005 01:23 PM (zAOEU)

14 Sketches then? A nice chalk? At least stick figures? We're really not that picky.

Posted by: Publicola at September 15, 2005 02:31 PM (vC8Ev)

15 "my range is a nudist range" ... what's the address again?

Posted by: mike at September 15, 2005 03:42 PM (oCke8)

16 Nobody'll believe it, but back in the old days three or four years ago, Anni had a stack of skin pics around here. I of course had the good judgment to save local copies of these. I particularly like those from the Jamaican vacation, mwahahahaa.

Posted by: Casca at September 15, 2005 04:09 PM (qBTBH)

17 Well, Annie, if Publicola's right about your wanting a DA/SA pistol, then you probably should try the Beretta. That said, I personally think the Beretta is a GIGANTIC FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT THAT COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN DESIGNED BY PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T WON A REAL WAR IN 2000 YEARS. In case it's not clear, I really, really, really, REALLY don't like the Beretta (or its clones). At all. I'm not just some old fart who's bitter about the decision to phase out The Greatest Pistol Ever Made -- you know, the one that single-handedly won two world wars, would vaporize a man's torso with one near miss, and in a pinch could serve as a not-half-bad anti-ballistic missile system. (Don't take my sarcasm the wrong way: I love the 1911. Some folks just tend to get carried away.) No, my animosity is born of intimate familiarity. I trained on the Beretta at The Basic School (and fired the highest pistol score in my class), carried it for seven years (three of which involved really carrying, Condition One in a shoulder holster, on a very regular basis), qualified expert with it seven times, supervised the training of literally hundreds of Marines with it, and later supervised an armory responsible for maintaining about a hundred of the infernal things. My distaste for the pistol arises from several factors, but the most egregious is the tendency of the locking block to crack when you need it, which puts the pistol down hard. (It usually won't even cycle once the block has cracked. Occasionally it will, though I wouldn't be keen on firing one that way.) It happened in 5 of the first 6 Berettas and Beretta clones that I ever fired, and the fun didn't stop there. When I was a platoon commander in a security force company our locking block breakage rate on any given trip to the range was rarely less than 10%, sometimes close to 20%. Admittedly, those guns got used harder than most are; nevertheless, I've never seen any pistol in which mechanical failure was so frequent or predictable. Beretta supposedly has redesigned the locking block to correct this problem. Yeah. And monkeys might fly out my butt. Screw me once, shame on you; screw me twice, shame on me; screw me dozens of times and you've made an enemy for life. Nothing anyone can say will ever persuade me to give the Beretta 92, or any of its clones or variants, another chance. I wouldn't allow one to defile my gunsafe by its presence if it were free. In fact, before I die I hope to travel to Italy again, this time for the express purpose of personally pissing on Bartolomeo Beretta's grave. This is the heir to the 1911? For that, may God have mercy on Ronnie Reagan's soul. That said, I'll at least give the Beretta defenders this much: It's quite accurate, and easy to shoot even though I really don't like the DA/SA transition. The grip's a bit oversized IMHO, but it's just a 9x19 and darn near as heavy as a GI .45 (maybe heavier, when both are fully loaded) so it doesn't really present a control problem. Not than any 9x19 ever really does. I certainly concur with the recommendation to try a CZ, and a BHP (though I was under the impression that you'd already tried one of the latter). I'd strongly recommend giving a Kahr a whirl, but I don't think Kahr makes a pistol with an external safety. Publicola, As to whether external safeties and DA/SA actions are big deals, it really all depends on the individual. The negatives can be trained around pretty well (not perfectly), as can just about anything. It largely depends on how much and how realistically one trains, and how well one handles stress. For the average person who doesn't train regularly, whose training doesn't involve any significant amount of stress, or who just doesn't respond well to stress even after lots of training, either one can cause problems. But even so, a person might reasonably conclude that, for him, the probability of problems due to a DA/SA action or an external safety is smaller than the probability of problems due to the lack thereof. (E.g., if you don't train much you may have problems keeping your finger off the trigger at inappropriate times, especially while under stress. This really is a prerequisite for using a pistol without an external safety. Heck, I've known people who were very well trained who've had "accidents" with Glocks.) And he might be right, just as another guy might be right to decide the opposite. As you say, to each his own.

Posted by: ```````` at September 15, 2005 07:10 PM (2mxBl)

18 I don't know how my name became ```````` in that last post but, just for the record, ```````` is me.

Posted by: Matt at September 15, 2005 07:16 PM (2mxBl)

19 Dear ```````` (if that is indeed your real name) I've heard that about berettas (not beretta copies) & I'll be the frt to admit the pistol design isn't perfect. The grip is a bit wider than it perhaps should be; the trigger out of the box is not great (at least on Taurus' copies); The repetability of the slide/barrel connection isn't great (which means neither is the accuracy) & lastly it has a damned aluminum frame. Look, sya whatever you wish about aluminum being good enough for frames. That's cool. My contention is the weight. We're talking about a pistol with a 5" barrel (Taurus - the Beretta has a 4.9" barrel) . I ain't gonna be tucking this in th old ankle holster whilst I jog around the park. I'd have much prefered a steel frame just to add a few ounces to help soak up some recoil & make me feel a little better about testing my handloads in it. Beretta does have a steel framed version they came out with last year (IIRC) & it'd be cool if Taurus did likewise. But the locking block - from what I recall it seemed to be a metalurgy problem rather than an engineering one. But I'm not as up on that as I should be. & don't go urinating on P. Beretta's gravestone just yet. Before you do that I must remind you of the BM-59. you kno - the rifle that should have been G.I when they erroneously decided the Garand wasn't up to snuff (heretics - all of them!). Want to piss on someone's grave? Find the idiot in the JCS who figured that since the AF was doing fine with that mickey mouse looking poodle shooting french-designed-gas-systemed carbine that the boys ont he front line would be fine with it to.

But lemme see... Marine, 1911 fan, throws in italics & other coding (presumably by hand) to stress points about why a handgun is or isn't cool, capitalizes glock like it's a proper name instead of a design fostered upon some folks by a P.T. Barnum wannabe from Georgia who had to have his product made in Austria (what was that about a country not winning a real war...*), & partial offers a refute to some of his own opinions...hmmm...If I didn't know better I'd say that reminds me a bit of a guy I know from some of the blogs. Now which one was it...

Oh, & Miss Annika tried a BDM if I recall. Not quite a Hi Power. * sorry - had to slip that in there.

Posted by: Publicola at September 15, 2005 08:09 PM (vC8Ev)

20 Since the 1911 is finally getting some of the respect it deserves, allow me to make the case. It's simple and safe in competent hands. Seven rounds to hit what's in front of you, and if he's survived that you can literally club him to death with it. It was a travesty when we bought that plastic piece of shit from the eyeties, but they were NATO allies and it was a bone.

Posted by: Casca at September 15, 2005 10:55 PM (qBTBH)

21 In my experience, the locking block problem extends to Tauruses as well. I don't think it's a matter of metallurgy; it seems to be (or, allegedly, to have been) a matter of geometry. I actually consider the Beretta surprisingly accurate, all things considered. (It's every bit as accurate as a GI .45, and then some.) I've long thought that a tapered collar threaded onto the end of the barrel to act as a bushing could make it better -- heck, you could even port it, if you're into that -- but it's really not necessary for practical purposes. Accuracy isn't the problem. I freely admit that Beretta has made lots of good guns. The 38/42, the Model 12, a variety of shotguns and, yes, the BM-59 were/are all good. Even their pocket pistols aren't bad, as pocket pistols go. And that's to say nothing of Franchi and Benelli, both of which Beretta owns. But none of it -- NONE OF IT, I say -- redeems the colossal clusterfuck that is the Model 92/M9. Bartolomeo will pay. (I don't actually know who Pietro is. As far as I know, Bartolomeo is the first Beretta known to have been in the gunmaking business. I presume Pietro was one of his descendants, who founded the corporation we know today.) You do realize, of course, that Gaston Glock is an Austrian, and that they started making Glocks in Georgia only after they'd already been making them in Austria for some time? "partial offers a refute to some of his own opinions..." I did no such thing. I said it sucks, and it does. I just don't think it sucks in every way.

Posted by: Matt at September 15, 2005 11:06 PM (2mxBl)

22 Matt, Actually I thought gaston was from Georgia but had his design made overseas. Then again I never really paid much attention to glock as I'm not a member of his fan club. & for some reason I thought Pietro was the first, but you are correct in that Bart started the whole thing & one of the Pietro's took the company into the modern manufacturing age. & I'd be interested to know more about the geometry problems, & most importantly when they did a redesign - if you happen to have some info handy. & I did hear back in the 90's that the Army Marksmanship Unit did have some sort of conelike barrel they used to make the M9's lock up more consistently. Can't recall if it was something they added onto existing barrels or if it was a specially made tube. & I wonder if miss Annika realized the kind of comments sections she'd have whenever she mentioned the word "gun" in one of her posts?

I mean the discussions of likes & dislikes of certain models, designers, engineering, etc... was pretty much a given. But did she know we'd be asking for pics (or sketches, or chalks, or at least stick drawings - we're really not that picky) of her with the guns?

Posted by: Publicola at September 16, 2005 01:49 AM (vC8Ev)

23 The locking block problem has unfortunately seems to have been fairly well hushed-up/minimized, so I don't know many details about the cause or the exact measures taken to fix it. I say that I think it was a geometry (design) problem because (1) it also happened with Tauruses, and I suspect Taurus wasn't using Beretta's steel to make its pistols and (2) references to a fix refer to "redesign" of the block. The only sources I've found that mentioned the problem have been quite vague as to its cause, and have always hastily concluded that it's all fixed and everything's OK now. See above for my response to that. Probably the simplest form of research would be to buy a new locking block and compare it to an old one (if you could find one). But I'll leave that to people who actually care. The 92 is dead to me.

Posted by: Matt at September 16, 2005 07:12 AM (10G2T)

24 I absolutely love my H&K USP Compact .45 with only one caveat. The damn mags are $50+. With enough mags to feel comfortable, I spent the price of a new Taurus Millenium. Other readers have commented that you should try the Springfield XD and I second that. I carry the H&K in the winter when I have plenty of clothes to cover it (the gun being fairly chunky), but in the summer I carry the XD40 Compact for the smaller silhouette. The XD is almost as nice as the H&K but with an easier take down to clean and a much lower price.

Posted by: Brass at September 16, 2005 08:42 AM (6TLEO)

25 'cola Now that I own a Garand, I contend that I never said anything about rechambering a Garand..... I swear it....... I was talking about a MAS 49/56...you misread....or perhaps you're projecting your twisted chamber preferences on me... you've got a Garand chambered in .35 Whelen don't ya or maybe a 25-06 hidden in the back of the closet.(lol) BTW where can I reference SN's for the old girl, she's a bit of a Frankenrifle, but I'd like to know where she's been at least in part.

Posted by: Jasen at September 16, 2005 09:59 AM (DNre1)

26 Jasen, I used to know of a site that gave as much info as could be found (what unit a rifle was assigned to - at most) but alas I can't recall the url. There is a site that wil give you a date for the SN. I'll dig it up & try to e-mail it to ya. & yes, you clearly said, "-But hey since we're dreaming could I have a Garand chambered for 5.56x45mm. **Jasen exits swiftly, as he hears Publicola fumbling for a clip for his Garand and mumbling," insolent,good fer nothin'heretic"**" & for the record I'm not a purist; a Garand in damn near any '06 or .308 Win case based chambering is alright. Even did some digging once for the cost of barreling a Garand in 7x57 (just for the helluvit as Mr. du Toit always liked that cartridge). But you will not that even the .243 Winchester (which a Garand could be chambered for) willl take down a deer, unlike the cartridge-that-shall-not-be-named. Matter o' fact there's a fella up in Washington state (IIRC) named McCann who outfits Garands in .338 Win Mag. & people said Garands wouldn't make decent African plains rifles. heh. Matt, I appreciate the info. & I understand how ya feel. But just so ya know it could be worse, here's a Handgun Club of America article on the Ten Worst Handguns in History. I can't say my list would be the same but they do bring out some good (err, bad) points.

Posted by: Publicola at September 16, 2005 03:36 PM (vC8Ev)

27 A long time ago, I found myself in Kangneung, a city on the northeast coast of South Korea, when I walked by a large tank filled with live octopi. Gripped by a sudden urge, I leaped over to the tank, grabbed an octopus, aimed it at some plastic jugs about fifty yards away, and blasted every single jug on the first try-- all without ever having had prior training at firing octopi. The next day I went back and started experimenting with other sea creatures, and finally settled on the Korean "nakji" (dwarf octopus) and "ojing-aw" (squid) as my arms of choice. Since then, I've taken courses run by some ex-Special Forces guys, and now consistently rate "Kickass" with both molluscs. After about 500 rounds, the nakji tends to heat up and stiffen, which can affect accuracy, but also makes for a tasty meal. (I don't recommend eating your firearm in the middle of a firefight, though.) The ojing-aw is fantastic for long-range kills: I took the head off a dog at about 500 yards (soup's on!). The ojing-aw's main problem (aside from the stench, which only worsens over time) is the frequent jamming. Keep your ojing-aw clean and well-inked, and it'll serve your assassination needs for a long time. Nakji, unfortunately, carry a bit too much ink, so after you buy one, you have to field-strip it, remove the ink sac, and reassemble it. I've had no problems with this approach. I've heard that the Italian calamari is, like the Beretta mentioned by other commenters above, pretty accurate, though I've also heard that it tends to wriggle a bit too much in your grip. Women agree that calamari do make better condoms than ojing-aw, though ("Fluked for Her Pleasure"). The coolest thing about the nakji is that the tentacles wrap securely around your ankle, making the dwarf octopus the perfect concealed weapon. For men, the nakji can be worn like a fanny pack and disguised to look rather convincingly like a scrotum. Try not to load your nakji with .50 caliber rounds, however; I've heard scary stories about some truly messy misfires. In a pinch, most molluscs also serve as decent surrogates for tonfa, kusarigamma, and the Chinese three-section staff. One of Bruce Lee's lesser-known pre-Hollywood works, "Damn You, I'll Sprain Your Soul," shows the Little Dragon defeating an entire gang of Japanese thugs with a lightning-quick Nine-Tentacle Technique. Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim at September 17, 2005 01:05 AM (1PcL3)

28 Kevin, Dude, you just ain't right. I read somewhere that ojing-aw/calamari enjoys great popularity as a stand-alone sex toy when used whole and alive. Any comments?

Posted by: Matt at September 17, 2005 07:27 AM (2mxBl)

29 I have the H&K USP in .40 S&W and I love it. Incredibly accurate. Thanks for explaining why the recoil is so light...that ''thingamabob''.

Posted by: Rhythm Master at September 17, 2005 09:03 AM (AjmQV)

30 Matt, What am I supposed to say? You asking me whether I've jammed a live octopus up my urethra? SHIT, no, I haven't. But thanks for the idea. My weekend now has a fuckin' PURPOSE. Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim at September 17, 2005 10:56 AM (1PcL3)

31 Well, if you're in Korea and looking to have sex, at least the Octopussy doesn't smell like Kimchae.

Posted by: Casca at September 17, 2005 03:34 PM (qBTBH)

32 Nice range report. Did you send it into the Carnival of Cordite? (See Ferdy's Carnival submission page over at Conservative Cat.)

Posted by: Zendo Deb at September 17, 2005 07:38 PM (S417T)

33 I've been ignoring this posting because I am but a simple soul. When I fire my weapon, I expect it to be at about 7 to 10 years maximum. I have a simple Glock 9MM. It has high power, hollow nose slugs that will stop whatever I hit. (Chesty Puller said "You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em") But Kevin, you need to take your meds. Casca, everything in Korea smells like kimche.

Posted by: shelly at September 18, 2005 07:44 PM (ywZa8)

34 Nah, you need to cleanse your senses with Soju. In truth, Korean women are lovely enough to be forgiven the halotocular stench of garlic.

Posted by: Casca at September 18, 2005 08:01 PM (qBTBH)

35 Someone is conspicuously silent. However, next week is the first real team, someone other than the Little Sisters of the Poor. I can't wait to see the prophylactics take a stab at the Beavers.

Posted by: Casca at September 18, 2005 10:26 PM (qBTBH)

36 I had to leave at halftime last night to take my grandson home, did USC pull it out? I was curious to hear how the Numero Uno Offense in the nation did against the untested USC Defense. If you are talking abbut the Rubber Duckies, I'd guess that USC will be about a 21 1/2 point favorite. Morning line out tomorrow afternoon sometime. Does Cal play anybody challenging before USC? UCLA might give them a game, come to think of it. They ate Oklahoma's lunch yesterday as well. Oklahomans will not be talking about the wimps in the PAC 10 any time soon. Methinks they've had enough of Southern California football for a while.

Posted by: shelly at September 18, 2005 10:58 PM (ywZa8)

37 You get some of the strangest comments here.... :-) I'm glad you found something you like and can shoot well. You'd better watch out, though, as guns tend to be highly addictive. If you like HKs, the next thing you know you're going to be toting an HK-91 and hanging out on the corner with a sign that says "Will work for ammo".

Posted by: Bill at September 19, 2005 05:56 AM (Tx0EW)

38 Vanderbilt? VANDERBILT?? It's like beating small girls! Ah yes the Rubbers Vs Ducks match. We shall see. It's hard to judge a team when they're playing others who are inferior to their own seconds. I'm sure they're heavily favored, but they're a tough bunch up there, and as we all know, when it rains the wheels fall off the chariot in the mud. I recall when the mighty Hurricanes were invincible just three short years ago. Someone always comes along and wakes you up. I'm thinking it's that Weir fellow.

Posted by: Casca at September 19, 2005 09:17 AM (qBTBH)

39 "...and hanging out on the corner with a sign that says 'Will work for ammo." Like that's a bad thing (Not that I've ever done it myself. Personally. Everyday. For weeks on end.)

Posted by: Publicola at September 19, 2005 01:55 PM (vC8Ev)

40 Remember, technically the SIG is Swiss and the Glock is Austrian. Only the HK and Walther are properly German. Honestly, the whole safeties thing is a matter of preference, but remember, any gun is absolutely safe from bad-trigger-control/dropping/unholstering discharges if there's no round in the chamber, and if you practice, a draw-rack-aim-fire sequence is pretty darn fast. I personally can't stand DAO either, unless the trigger is light and consistent (as Glocks are reputed to be, but somehow I've never gotten around to firing one...).

Posted by: Sigivald at September 19, 2005 04:49 PM (4JnZM)

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September 14, 2005

Light Posting

i took on a project at school that will me keep me very busy over the next several weeks, so posting will be sporadic. If you're hungry for poetry i'd suggest visiting the following fellow poetry lovers: Sarah or Sheila or Dymphna and the Baron (Get well soon, Dymphna) or CBass (The Mark Russell of the Blogosphere) or my buddy Matt or Jeff's Protein Wisdom, none of whom have any poetry posted today. However, you can always count on Hugo for great poems on Thursday. If you're coming here for a gun nut update, i should have one soon, but you might want to check out this gun quiz at Risawn's blog. (i recognized the BHP.)

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September 11, 2005

9-11-2005

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September 10, 2005

Just One More Reason i'm Glad To Be A Munuvian

Blogger has instituted a quasi-censorship program.

When a person visiting a blog clicks the "Flag?" button in the Blogger Navbar, it means they believe the content of the blog may be potentially offensive or illegal. We track the number of times a blog has been flagged as objectionable and use this information to determine what action is needed. This feature allows the blogging community as a whole to identify content they deem objectionable.

This disturbing development is totally separate from their policy regarding spam blogs. This is much more big brotherish.

Blogger excuses this quasi-censorship by referring to the "Wisdom of Crowds" concept. That's complete bullshit. They might have an argument if they gave readers the option to designate a blog as "unobjectionable." But even that would be problematic, because it's always more likely that a offended person would be motivated to click on a flag than someone who's not offended by content. You're going to see a situation where hypersensitive people or those with intolerant political viewpoints will have a kind of "hecklers veto" on blog content.

This is a bad idea, and totally goes against what i thought was Blogger's most important asset, the total freedom it gave to its users. It's also an unnecessary idea. Blog readers have always had a remedy for objectionable content they might happen upon. It's called the back button. Blogger's "Flag Button" is the blogging equivalent of yelling "Mom!" everytime your brother calls you a ninny.

If someone doesn't like what i write for instance, they can always leave a comment, or email me, and then never visit again. If i want to post a picture of my left tit, i'm glad i have the freedom to do so without becoming some kind of second class blog-citizen.

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1 I think I've finally figured out your picture. You're holding a handgun with both hands.

Posted by: Victor at September 10, 2005 12:27 PM (l+W8Z)

2 Remember, Blogger is owned by Google.

Posted by: David Foster at September 10, 2005 01:44 PM (7TmYw)

3 As much as I agree with your sound reasoning, you might change your mind a bit if you were to go to www.smithantics.blogspot.com. (I am my blog buds at www.sixhertz.blogspot.com refer to it as "shitantics." I suspect you would be clicking the "Flag" button, too, but maybe I'm wrong.

Posted by: Mark at September 10, 2005 01:48 PM (Vg0tt)

4 Of course I looked. That's how you seperate the goats from the goatblowers. You ARE aware that Cal is thumping the shit out of the Huskys? Isn't it about time for some football posts? In case you've forgotten, the Buckeyes are going to have the Longhorns for dinner tonight, after which I plan on being more insufferable than usual for the remainder of the season.

Posted by: Casca at September 10, 2005 02:18 PM (qBTBH)

5 Casca, that's got to hurt.

Posted by: MarkD at September 10, 2005 09:02 PM (X9njN)

6 And I have the freedom to ask you what film is this from: "Oh, I've been to Prague. Well, I haven't "been to Prague" been to Prague, but I know that thing, that, "Stop shaving your armpits, read the Unbearable Lightness of Being, date a sculptor"

Posted by: Jake at September 10, 2005 09:02 PM (r/5D/)

7 I guess it depends upon how Blogger uses its power...and how the flag is used. If Blogs For Bush or moveon.org orchestrates campaigns to flag blogs with particular political views, or if Hamas or Focus on the Family orchestrates campaigns to flag blogs with particular religious views, then hopefully Blogger will detect the scam and ignore it. However, if true grass roots flagging occurs (can true grass roots flagging be statistically identified?), then perhaps a few "induce sexually abused children to make nuclear bombs and target people of color" blogs will disappear. I do wish, however, that the "Flag" button wasn't so prominent. In addition, the purpose is not intuitively apparent - if I hadn't read the fine print, I would have thought that "Flag" could be used to mark blogs that I *like*.

Posted by: Ontario Emperor at September 10, 2005 09:31 PM (VaRkg)

8 Yeah, Casca, loooks like someone else's Ox got gored. Texas will be in Pasadena on January 4. Then they wil find out what the QB-less wonders of Strawberry Canyon will learn on November 12, and Oklahoma learned last January. There is only one # 1 in College Football. Learn the word: "THREEPEAT"

Posted by: shelly at September 11, 2005 07:15 AM (6krEN)

9 i don't know who's more insufferable, SC fans or Buckeye fans. Sheesh.

Posted by: annika at September 11, 2005 08:34 AM (6i+B+)

10 Anyone who watched the game KNOWS who dominated. If there was a Heisman player on the field, it was AJ Hawk. Vince Young got his ass beat, and the TD that kept them alive was the product of an officiating fraud call of non-existant pass interference. Texas benefited from bringing their officials all night. All-in-all, Tressel's misplaced confidence in the choke-meister Justin Zwick fundimentally cost us the game. In keeping with the freedom of speech subject: USC sucks horsecock.

Posted by: Casca at September 11, 2005 09:07 AM (qBTBH)

11 Heisman, you want to talk Heisman? Go back to Strawberry Canyon on November 12 and you can see Heisman. Already one winner plus one nominee will be on the field that day; most likely two more future winners will be there as well. (Keep your eye on John David Booty) As for the horsecock stuff, I guess you are starting to retrogress already, getting ready to take off your shirt and put on your blue paint. That sounds pretty sophomoric. I was in Miami in January, watching all the Sooners and Boomers file out of the stadium starting at halftime; by the time the fourth quarter started, most were gone, looking for something to do in Miami that would give them relief from pain. If I were a Bear, I'd be looking for something else to root for; Women's soccer and volleyball might be a good place to start. As my eleven year old grandson would say "Trojans rule; Bears drool".

Posted by: shelly at September 12, 2005 03:49 AM (6krEN)

12 Its not being insufferable when you are correct about being best....

Posted by: Mythilt at September 12, 2005 06:31 AM (i/gV3)

13 Doesn't anyone care how annika's fantasy baseball team is doing?

Posted by: Victor at September 12, 2005 06:40 AM (L3qPK)

14 blogspot is free to most users. They do you delete the blog, just delist it from their own personal advertisments. Though it could eventually be delisted from google, though I do not think that is happening now.

Posted by: cube at September 12, 2005 06:56 AM (nyNr0)

15 Shelly needs his meds adjusted.

Posted by: Casca at September 12, 2005 07:28 AM (qBTBH)

16 There is a fairly simple corrective measure, if you're a Blogspot blogger: turn off the nav bar in the template. Then there's no "Flag" button to press.

Posted by: Kevin Baker at September 12, 2005 04:20 PM (BiMLC)

17 When I see posts about the Bears wiinning and Texas losing, I figure someone needs his eyes corrected. No matter; we have several quarterbacks, maybe you guys can buy one, kind of like buying a vowel? Note to Ah-nika; please, do not take that as an invitation to sponsor another stupid game. I have work to do.

Posted by: shelly at September 12, 2005 07:13 PM (6krEN)

18 When I see posts about the Bears winning and Texas losing, I figure someone needs his eyes corrected. Texas won't lose until January 4, 2006. Cal will be lucky to be undefeated before November 10. No matter; we have several quarterbacks, maybe you guys can buy one, kind of like buying a vowel? Note to Ah-nika; please, do not take that as an invitation to sponsor another stupid game. I have work to do. P.S. Casca, why not watch Saturday night; does ABC-TV reach to where you live?

Posted by: shelly at September 12, 2005 07:16 PM (6krEN)

19 You sir, are clearly, waaaaaaay out there. Take a breath and pray that those chuckleheads make it through an undefeated season. If the Bears, Irish, or the Bruins grow some gonads, you could see your beloved Trojans getting a good assfucking before they get to the Rose Bowl. We happen to have two extremely good QB's, but only one of them played Saturday, and only sporadicly. I have no reason to believe that someone won't humble Texas before we reach December. An undefeated season requires more than weak sisters, it requires luck. Texas can't take their officials with them everywhere.

Posted by: Casca at September 13, 2005 09:42 PM (qBTBH)

20 Why not? We do.

Posted by: shelly at September 14, 2005 05:45 AM (ywZa8)

21 Wasn't there something about a tit...?

Posted by: Telesonic at September 19, 2005 02:31 PM (blNMI)

22 I was hoping the "left tit" link would be a picture of a bird. Text is no fun!

Posted by: Sigivald at September 19, 2005 04:50 PM (4JnZM)

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Dad's Words Of Wisdom #417 & 417A (Corrolary)

"The purpose of union activism used to be to protect the worker. But now, the primary purpose of unions has become the weakening various target institutions.

"The Democratic party has become nothing more than a such a union, which chooses as its target the United States of America."

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September 09, 2005

Yay annika's journal Readers!

We are up to $2,150 for hurricane relief, and the TTLB Board reads over 1.3 million dollars!

If you haven't contributed yet, jump on the bandwagon!

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September 08, 2005

Open Gun Nut Comment Questions

Here's two questions i've been wondering about. i bow to your expertise, so please leave any thoughts you might have in the comments.

1. In the event of an extended period of civil unrest, when finding ammunition might become an issue, is it better to have a gun that shoots a common caliber of ammunition like 9mm, or is it better to have something that will use a less common caliber. Think of a donut shop. Normally, you'll always be able to get glazed donuts, but after the morning rush, maybe all you'd find are those disgusting brown crullers that nobody likes.

2. In the city, is it a good idea to advertise gun ownership with a sticker or say, posting a particularly good silhouette in your garage? Would this cause bad people to stay away, or would they simply watch more carefully for their chance to break in and try to steal your gun when you're out?

i will be blogging lightly for the next few days, but i'll check in to read. In the meantime, don't forget to give what you can for hurricane relief.

Posted by: annika at 08:21 AM | Comments (47) | Add Comment
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1 Owning a gun means that you rarely will have to use it. 20 rounds will last you through any civil unrest. The bad guys will leave and go to a home without a gun. Run this test: Have one of your left-wing friends put this sign on her door: WARNING No weapons of any kind are allowed in this home. You put this sign on your door: WARNING This home contains lethal weapons and the occupants are trained to use them. Observe the results and report back to us.

Posted by: Jake at September 08, 2005 08:45 AM (r/5D/)

2 I've alway thought it would be best to have the calibers that NATO uses, seeing that they would be produced in millions of rounds, and easy to locate. A 9mm pistol and carbine, a 308 rifle, a 223 rifle, and a 12 gauge shotgun. I think you should also have a powerful pellet gun and a black powder rifle, with a little learning you can make your own black powder and shoot anything you can get down the barrel. As for advertising i do not and will not, i have a conceled weapons permit and a gun safe, still there are times that you might not be at home for several days and you cant take all your firearms with you. I own all the aboved mentioned firearms plus several other calibers such as the 30-06 and 30-30 which i should be able to find lots of bullets for.

Posted by: Vaughn at September 08, 2005 09:20 AM (ItRuM)

3 Oh and one other everyone should own at least one of or several, a 22 long rifle and pistol with as many rounds as you want to buy, i buy them by the thousands. If I may ask, Annika, what will be the reason for you purchasing a pistol? If you have a permit to carry or if the pistol will most likely be used in your house will detirmine the pistol you should buy.

Posted by: Vaughn at September 08, 2005 09:40 AM (ItRuM)

4 Why not one of each? But make sure that you are actually willing and able to pull the trigger when facing a real live human being. I've got a family friend who is a higher up in a police force here in socal who says that more often than not homeowners are shot with their own guns because they think they don't actually need to pull the trigger.

Posted by: KG at September 08, 2005 10:12 AM (YPmsQ)

5 1.)Instead of thinking about getting to a gun store to find ammo, you're going to have to think about getting lucky by finding some in a place most people would least expect it, or having someone else take pity on you and give you some of their own, or find someone to trade with. If N.O. illustrated anything it was that Wal-mart (et al.) was looted fairly quickly and even if anything uncommon was left the looters are likely to still be in the vicinity. They would most likely not be the crowd to mix with while unarmed. Continuing in that vein, common styles of ammo would be one of the most valuable supplies to have in that situation when it comes to trading. Let's face it, cash may not get the job done. 2.)I can't say how many more people would be deterred rather than lured, although I'd bet that a sign would cause more of the former than the latter. The main reason that I would put up a sign like that is to actually warn anyone that's genuinely looking for help and is not there to loot (or do worse.)

Posted by: Trevor at September 08, 2005 10:12 AM (RwZxT)

6 Short of an end-of-the-world, Mad Max type scenario in which the only source of ammo resupply, ever, will be what you can scavenge, I think it's probably unnecessary to worry about selecting a common caliber for your self-/home-/civil defense gun. Jake is right: You're unlikely to fire many rounds even during an extended period of civil unrest. Predators tend not to hunt things that are likely to kill them, and this is doubly true of bipedal predators: They're interested in quick, easy victims, not extended firefights. A hundred rounds for your designated self-/home-defense gun(s), stored securely in your home, probably is enough for all but the worst-case scenario. In which case you can pick any caliber you want, as long as you buy and store the ammo before the crisis hits! (And if the Mad Max scenario does come to pass, it shouldn't be hard to scrounge a gun in a common caliber. We've got 200+ million of them in this country.) As to advertising that you own a gun, I don't do it and neither do most gun owners I know. However, at least in my case, that decision is based on very imprecise guesstimates of the probability and likely costs of a wide variety of possible events. Reasonable people probably could disagree. Whatever you decide, I think you need to weigh at least the following factors in making the decision. The first is that advertising your gun ownership may attract the attention of thieves. Guns are highly fungible on the black market, and criminals are always looking for sources. That's a negative. The second issue is that advertising your gun ownership may deter some criminals. Of course some criminals will be too drunk/high/stupid/aggressive to be deterred and, again, some property criminals may have the option of waiting for a better time. Nevertheless, there should be no doubt that many criminals will be deterred by the knowledge that their intended victim is armed. That's a positive. The third issue is that, by advertising your gun ownership, you may lose the element of surprise against extremely aggressive criminals who aren't deterred by the prospect of an armed homeowner, and who instead merely become more careful/violent. That's a negative. Personally, I prefer to retain the element of surprise and reduce the possibility of attracting unwanted attention. If a criminal would be deterred by a sticker in my window ("These premises insured by Smith & Wesson"), I figure he'll be even more deterred when he's looking at the business end of my Colt Commander. If he's the sort who wouldn't be deterred by a sticker, at least he doesn't have any advance warning of what he faces, which could prove to be a tactical advantage for me. There are lots of assumptions embedded in the foregoing, but I won't get into all of them now.

Posted by: Matt at September 08, 2005 12:46 PM (10G2T)

7 "I've got a family friend who is a higher up in a police force here in socal who says that more often than not homeowners are shot with their own guns because they think they don't actually need to pull the trigger." Horseshit. That's not directed at you, KG. I'm sure your family friend actually said that. It's just that he's flat wrong. It's probably unintentional; the amount of bullshit that the anti-gunners have spewed into the public consciousness is absolutely staggering. The problem only gets worse as claims that were wrong from the get-go are passed around, exaggerated, and even more grotesquely distorted, like a giant game of telephone. (This phenomenon isn't limited to gun issues, by any means. The amount of obvious and unadulterated garbage that many Americans believe -- and repeat with complete self-assurance -- boggles the mind. If we weren't so gullible, there'd be no need for Snopes.com.)

Posted by: Matt at September 08, 2005 12:58 PM (10G2T)

8 1.) Pick a caliber you like and make sure you keep at least 100 rounds at all times. Unless the govt totally collapses 100 rounds should be more than enough. After all it only takes one bullet to kill someone and most bad guys are going to run when they hear the first shot. That is if they are lucky enough to hear it. 2.) Don't advertise your gun ownership the element of surprise is a very powerful weapon indeed. As an aside most people are not shot with their own guns when they have pulled out that weapon in self defense. I have read tons of law enforcement data over the years due to my job and I have never seen anything that supports that statement.

Posted by: Andy at September 08, 2005 03:31 PM (688sS)

9 Here's what you do. Get yourself a flamethrower. Go out on the porch right after dark every night and fire it in the air. Nobody will fuck with you. As a bonus, homemade napalm isn't that hard to mix up. It's just gasoline and soap flakes. This is a no shitter. A buddy of mine did this every night in Vietnam, and was never attacked.

Posted by: Casca at September 08, 2005 04:25 PM (qBTBH)

10 I was gonna write something extensive here but I would just be repeating what Andy and Matt said. Soooo.....what they said.....Plus.... you really should spend some time with a .45ACP like a nice old fashioned M1911 just to see if you can hang with it. I have many handguns but the old Colt will always be special to me. Just don't limit yourself to one caliber/model/brand. Variety IS truely the spice of life.

Posted by: TBinSTL at September 08, 2005 05:00 PM (Vq/8g)

11 You know TB, I feel the same way about a colt government model. It's a first love, and if you couldn't hit him, well by God he'd feel some pain when you shoved that front site post up his ass! Honestly, anyone who wants a home defense weapon needs to buy a shotgun. Any other weapon requires way to much practice and mental focus. It's hard to miss with 00 buck. You just close your eyes, and shoot at the noise.

Posted by: Casca at September 08, 2005 07:44 PM (qBTBH)

12 For pure home defense, I agree completely, although I stick to #4 or #6 shot so I don't have to worry about hurting my roomate or dog! 00buck goes through walls too well for my taste. The .45 is close at hand though because he'd be jealous if I shot a bad guy and he did get in on it. Seriously, that's what he said, for such a manly gun he can be kinda bitchy! Glad he doesn't read blogs.

Posted by: TBinSTL at September 08, 2005 10:20 PM (Vq/8g)

13 Fine! let's see if you can make a 230gr bullet fly out of your mouth at anything close to 900fps.....jackass!! You're on you're own mister....unless I get that tactical holster I've been wanting....and don't scrimp on the mag pouches!

Posted by: Tim's.45 at September 08, 2005 10:33 PM (Vq/8g)

14 1)Very few people have expertise in this area. So you basically get a lot of personal opinions. So I would suggest owning a gun in a common caliber and also owning thousands of rounds of ammo also for that gun. The thing with ammo is that it can be stored easily and your gun is useless with out it. YOu could also own guns in less common calibers, but not neccesary own the ammo to go along with that gun. 2)No, when you pull out your gun (on the street, in your house) you want it to be a surprise. If it is a surprise for your attacker their reaction time could be slower (look at a prepared reaction vs a surprised reaction, most surprised reactions are slower). "Honestly, anyone who wants a home defense weapon needs to buy a shotgun. Any other weapon requires way to much practice and mental focus. It's hard to miss with 00 buck. You just close your eyes, and shoot at the noise." As to this comment.....well from everything i have read that could be true (based on the gun), but is FALSE in most cases. Typical spread over room like distances still means you have to aim the shotgun like a rifle. http://www.theboxotruth.com/docs/bot3.htm "Mossberg Maverick, 12 Gauge, with a 19.5" barrel, no choke" "This is the entrance wound for the 00 Buck. Notice, again, about a 2 1/2" spread from 12 feet." For home defense shotguns are great (and nearly impossible to beat in most people opionions)...though in a civil unrest situtaion they do have a shorter range (for most people) than a rifle would, which could be a disadvatage.

Posted by: cube at September 09, 2005 07:19 AM (nyNr0)

15 I have a confession. I loaned my Colt Combat Commander to a "friend" who was going hunting for big game out in wilds, and wanted a sidearm because he was afraid of bears. I gave him fifty rounds of FMJ/HP mixed, and two mags with the instructions not to bring any ammo back or clean the weapon since I'd do that. I also gave it to him in the highspeed leather fannypack hide-a-gun deal. Two weeks after he returned from his two weeks in the wild, he hands the fannypack back to me, and it looks like it's had a hard two weeks in Nawlins. I open it up, and yes it is soaking wet inside. I haven't had the heart to clean it for the past six months, and I feel like I left my kids with a child molestor as a baby sitter. I forgot that he was a fucking air force asshole and didn't know shit about care and feeding of weapons.

Posted by: Casca at September 09, 2005 07:30 AM (qBTBH)

16 A better idea: Sign on the outside of a store: "3 nights a week I will be inside with my 12 gauge Shotgun. You guess which nights." via Curmudgeonly and Skeptical

Posted by: Jake at September 09, 2005 09:14 AM (r/5D/)

17 Cube's quite right about shotguns at home defense ranges. "Close your eyes and shoot at the noise" is bad advice. It's not a 155 with HE projos; you can't just lob rounds into the general vicinity of the bad guy. Even if the shot spread were that significant at home defense ranges, you'd still want to aim at the center of mass: An attacker who absorbs a couple of pellets of buck can still have a lot of fight left in him, because individual pellets of buckshot aren't as lethal as you'd like. Thus, you want all or nearly all of them to connect with the bad guy's vitals. This requires a little effort. See this discussion at Kim du Toit's place. I don't have any problem with keeping a good rifle and some ammo around for the worst-case scenario; however, it will be extremely rare to encounter a legitimate self-defense situation in which you'll need to engage your opponent at ranges requiring a rifle. That's not to say that it never happens, but it's not at the top of my list of things to stay up at night worrying about. Casca, you shouldn't tell those sorts of stories. It's obscene.

Posted by: Matt at September 09, 2005 02:08 PM (10G2T)

18 Matt, in re: shooting at noise, quit being so literal. Relax, have a cocktail. When they get close enough, you literally can't miss.

Posted by: Casca at September 09, 2005 02:36 PM (qBTBH)

19 Casca, As has been proven time and time again by police, soldiers and private citizens all over the world, you can always miss -- and usually will. The only way you (almost) can't miss is with a contact shot. And if the bad guy's close enough for a contact shot, you've boned it.

Posted by: Matt at September 09, 2005 03:47 PM (Ur3KC)

20 One of the many reasons why lawyers are loathed is their tedious trait of insisting on the rectitude of their argument no matter how tortured it might be. The plain truth of what I said is that there is no better close in defense weapon than a shotgun.

Posted by: Casca at September 09, 2005 04:38 PM (qBTBH)

21 Please explain what's "tortured" about saying that "close your eyes and shoot at the noise" is bad advice? You're going to tell me it was hyperbole, and everyone should've realized that, right? The problem is that lots of people actually believe that stupid shit. I've met them. I've known them. If you're going to use hyperbole that some people will take literally -- especially when it's directed at people who won't necessarily know better -- you should expect to be called on it. "The plain truth of what I said is that there is no better close in defense weapon than a shotgun." No shit. Unless your alter ego is Charlie Gordon, I said that before you did. Asshole.

Posted by: Matt at September 09, 2005 06:19 PM (Ur3KC)

22 You shotgun devotees got it all wrong. So what if you can stop the bad guy with your eyes closed or with just the sound of the pump action. Where's the challenge?

Posted by: annika at September 09, 2005 06:43 PM (6raG9)

23 My but you're quite emotional, lmao. I thought that lawyers were supposed to be dispassionate? You know, recent studies have concluded that calcium reduces the effects of PMS. You don't think that I actually read comments that aren't specifically directed to me do you? It's football season, and I have other priorities. Frankly, I can think of any number of situations where one would shoot at noise. But it's tedious to argue with the self-righteous.

Posted by: Casca at September 09, 2005 07:20 PM (qBTBH)

24 It just so happens that I was cracking a couple bottles of Cab last night with the owner of the flame thrower story, and he corrected me. They were M204 multi-shot flame weapons. Basically rockets made to fire through the slits of bunkers like a bazooka, and explode as an incendiary. They had stacks of rounds in the bunkers, so they went out every evening and fired them in the air in-direct fire style, thus burning back chunks of the jungle. Every night, they'd shoot at whatever was closest in. Alas the multi-shot flame weapon was short-lived. The propellant was so corrosive that it ate through the seals causing leakage into the four-shot cartridge. Several LCpls were launched downrange along with the msfw before we quit using it.

Posted by: Casca at September 09, 2005 07:32 PM (qBTBH)

25 Nah, just wanted to see how a you'd react to a taste of trash talk. You seem to know a little about that subject. ;-) On the rocket launcher, do you mean the M202? If we're talking about the same thing (I'm pretty sure we are -- there aren't that many four-barreled rocket launchers around), it makes an appearance in Ah-nuld's 1985 gem, Commando. Rae Dawn Chong uses it to stop the paddy wagon that's taking the Governator to jail after he breaks into the secret armory in the gigantic-yet-somehow-hidden room of the sporting goods store. (In the movie, the ammo isn't incendiary. But of course that's the least of the realism problems in that movie. They don't get much cheesier.)

Posted by: Matt at September 09, 2005 08:03 PM (Ur3KC)

26 Heh, I humped that empty fiberglass box around the hills of Quantico off and on for a summer. 202, 204, whatever it takes, lol. It was pretty cheesy too, like a Mattel toy. It didn't weigh anything without the rounds in it. Now the 109mm anti-tank gun, THERE was a weapon. You pulled out on the plunger after siting, and it fired a .50 cal spotting round. When you saw the flash off the armor you pushed in on the plunger and it fired the anti-tank round. Best of all, it came with fleshettes, mwahahaha. The best personal defense advice is to move to a better neighborhood.

Posted by: Casca at September 09, 2005 08:20 PM (qBTBH)

27 I have a riot gun (pistol grip short barrel shotgun) for home defense, It is the best choice in my opinion. I would NOT advertise that I have a weapon. This merely tells theives that you have something they might find very valuable, and you are not in your home all of the time, so that might induce them to burglarize.

Posted by: Kyle N at September 10, 2005 04:05 AM (4yR9i)

28 Matt's right about the eroneous advice from the police chief. Cops like to know that homes are unarmed or that there are safety locks on guns, but what he said about most people being shot with their own gun is pure crap. The true statistic he is citing found that guns in homes accounted for more injuries and fatalities of family members and owners than criminals, but that statistic has absolutely no bearing on whether a gun makes your home safer from robbery, it has more to do with the likehood that someone will hurt themselves or another family member either a) accidentally, b) attempting suicide (more likely in males, who use guns in suicide attempts more often than women, and have a 10 to 1 ratio of first time success), or c) in domestic violence, in that order. Take the accidents and suidcides off the table, and compare intentional shootings, and dead robbers outnumber dead family members by a wide margin. What is absolutely true is that some kind of notice of armed respose outside your home will keep the bad guys from even trying. An NRA sticker speaks volumes to cowards who prey on others. The statement about not having to pull the trigger reminds me of the statistic that simply brandishing a gun stops more crimes than actually using one (i.e. shooting someone) by orders of magnitude. If that statement leads you to think you can protect yourself without having to hurt anyone, then donate your guns to a youth shooting program and get a can of mace; just make sure you know which side the stuff comes out. Frankly having a dog is the number one deterrant to home invasion or robbery. If you are going to keep a gun for home defense, your level of confidence and experience with your gun is more important than what kind of gun it is. Being able to clear a jam in the dark or reload it and bring it to battery while under fire are more important factors than the effectiveness of the projectile. A .22 that you can shoot with confidence is more lethal than a shotgun pointed at a noise. As for availability of ammo, as someone pointed out, 20 rounds is more than adequate for an insurrection. In a post-apocalyptic scenario I'd favor a flint-lock, since you can make the gun from scratch, find agates or other stones to make your own 'flints', and even make your own powder if you know how to leach potasium nitrate from bat poop.

Posted by: Scot at September 10, 2005 06:52 AM (GDOa/)

29 Annika and all you others, Pick up a book called "In the Gravest Extreme" by Massad Ayoob. This former police chief has a lot of wisdom regarding the use of deadly force and the circumstances surrounding it, as well as the consequences thereafter.

Posted by: leemc85615 at September 10, 2005 07:09 AM (Mr835)

30 Fuck, accidental discharge! I have a colt 1911A1 government model chambered in 9mm (it was a gift). I used to keep it loaded on the nightstand until in a rare moment of cognitive activity I realized that I'd probably shoot myself when half awake. It had a very light trigger. This was when I lived in Chicago, and listened to gunfire every night from the comfort of my living room. The solution was to remove the mag so I'd have to actually "load" the weapon prior to action. This adds the advantage of audibly serving warning. There is nothing like the sound of a bolt going home, a slide chambering a round, or the racking noise of a shotgun to serve notice. Consequences? Be sure that there's only one story, if there needs to be one, and that it is supported by the evidence at the scene. Be too distraught to talk to the coppers except to say, "I was in fear of my life. I'm not up to giving a statement now, but I'll be glad to give one tomorrow when my lawyer is available."

Posted by: Casca at September 10, 2005 09:53 AM (qBTBH)

31 If you weigh more than 120 pounds. Your Armegeddon sidearm should be a .45. You can keep 200 rounds lying about for not even 50 dollars. I would never advertise. I have actually seen this sign in the windows of some homes in town: GUN FREE HOME Lord help them.

Posted by: Bob at September 10, 2005 10:57 AM (Mv1w8)

32 Casca, you cracked me up with the need to explain why your 1911 was chambered in 9mm. Excellent advice though on the aftermath of an armed defense. An officer once told my Dad that as long as the dead guy was found in the house there wouldn't be any problems. He said, "Now I'm not telling you to shoot the guy outside, to drag him into the house. But, if you shoot him inside and he stumbles outside to die, just make sure he's back in the house when the cops get there."

Posted by: Scot at September 10, 2005 10:19 PM (GDOa/)

33 Heh, if anyone is free next weekend, Scot and I are going to get together and leach potasium nitrate from bat poop. Son, you've been reading too many Field Manuals. Do what I do, and buy a couple bags of fertilizer every payday.

Posted by: Casca at September 11, 2005 04:01 PM (qBTBH)

34 Scot, I've heard pelple espouse that theory probably hundreds of times. Every time, it strikes me as bad advice. The problem is that cops aren't all complete idiots. When people are shot, they bleed. Some dont' bleed very much, especially if it's a small-caliber wound in a non-vital area of the body. But your scenario presupposes that the guy is dead. Bullets kill people by depriving the brain of oxygen through loss of blood. (They can also kill by destroying the brain directly, but in that case there probably won't be be very much stumbling around going on. So we'll leave that scenario aside for the moment.) There's very likely to be a big pool of blood on the ground where the goblin dies; even if there's not a big pool, there'll be enough for the cops to find (and you should assume they will find it), which is all it takes. Either way, it's going to be a big tip-off that something funny's going on. Tampering with the scene just makes you look as if you were trying to cover something up. Don't complicate things for yourself.

Posted by: Matt at September 11, 2005 04:06 PM (uxNme)

35 Thus the need for a good 50' garden hose, and a couple gallons of bleach in the laundry at all times. It's also helpful to keep around a couple of those 6' long garbage bags just in case you want to put someone in a dumpster. Face it the coppers are busy enough. Why trouble them over someone who was never there, and won't be again?

Posted by: Casca at September 11, 2005 07:44 PM (qBTBH)

36 Ditto for you, Casca.

Posted by: Matt at September 11, 2005 07:53 PM (U/lTS)

37 Survey after survey says the the most recognized sound in the world is someone racking a shotgun. So, for home defense having a 12-guage pump is just the ticket, because when the target, er, thief hears you rack a round into the chamber he will have no doubt as to what he faces. I'd recommend Single-0 buckshot, though, over 00 because you get slightly less recoil and something like twice as many pellets (this is SFPD's preferred load, BTW). As for pistol calibers, the classic advice is to use the most popular bullet in the world, the 9mm. Since I personally believe that the 9mm is offensive before the eyes of God, I would avoid it like the plague. Besides, you're not just anywhere in the world, you're in the United States, and in this country a true pistolero will hold faith with the memory of John Browning, and that means the .45ACP. Personally when I keep a pistol in the house I do not leave a round in the chamber. The act of racking the slide helps wake me up, takes only a moment, and makes the glorious sound for the tar--damn, there I go again--for the thief to consider. While Jeff Cooper would disdain this as keeping a pistol in Condition White (not immediately ready for combat), I believe I first read this advice in a column by Masaad Ayoob (mentioned by others). Last, consider your local law enforcement. I believe Sac PD still carries the Sig 226 in 9mm, the poor fools. Them aside, Sac SO, Folsom PD, Galt PD, all carry .40S&W ditto numerous surrounding county agencies, like Amador SO or Lodi PD. .40S&W has become the caliber of choice for law enforcement, which means in time of insurrection if you've got a gun in that caliber you can strip the fallen for ammunition. This is morbid but reality. Much like a part of our anatomy, everyone has an opinion. Here's two clear facts: First, in this country, you can generally get any kind of ammunition for any kind of gun (exotics, like .38 Super, aside). Second, the best gun is the one you are most comfortable with and are thus willing to practice with. For the same reasons that law students are encouraged to take Trial Advocacy and/or participate in moot court competitions: you play how you practice. When it comes to handling a pistol (or any gun) for self-defense, you should practice often, because you may only have one chance to "play."

Posted by: bob at September 11, 2005 10:16 PM (xzbD4)

38 Okay Matt, you can relax now. We're not going to alter the scene after the shooting. I think the underlying point is, if you're going to shoot a bad guy, don't shoot him in the back out on your front lawn. Now if you'll excuse me, Casca and I are going to bark some squirels for the stew pot with our fertilizer powered muzzle loaders. ;^)

Posted by: Scot at September 12, 2005 05:41 PM (GDOa/)

39 "if you're going to shoot a bad guy, don't shoot him in the back out on your front lawn." That is excellent advice. (I also liked Casca's recommendation not to talk to the cops without first talking to a lawyer.) If'n ya want potassium nitrate, I recommend going to an old-time hardware/farm supply store and buying some stump remover. Not the modern kind that decomposes 'em; the old-fashioned kind for burning 'em out. But the bat poop is always an option. It doesn't even have to be bat poop; from what I understand, pretty much any kind of manure from hoofed critters will do. That, and lots of pee. Plus patience and a strong nose.

Posted by: Matt at September 12, 2005 09:28 PM (OCW1k)

40 22 long rifle is hard to beat for availability and expense. While they won't stop a charging rhino, homo sapiens is a different story, whether pistol or rifle. Many assassin and 'tunnel rat' pistols were silenced 22. Make sure to obtain at least 40 gr, 2000+ fps, hollow point.

Posted by: will at September 13, 2005 06:37 AM (GzvlQ)

41 will let us all know where we can find those 2000+ fps 40gr .22lr rounds.

Posted by: Jasen at September 13, 2005 10:14 AM (avJg3)

42 Yes, please do!

Posted by: Matt at September 13, 2005 12:10 PM (10G2T)

43 LMFAO, how does one "bark a squirrel"? Do they do that at The University Club? Well a good point has been raised. There is nothing like a soft nosed lead round to defeat the science of ballistics. Oh yeah, and if'n you want to home brew potassium nitrate, all you need is lots and lots of mammal piss.

Posted by: Casca at September 13, 2005 09:57 PM (qBTBH)

44 "if'n you want to home brew potassium nitrate, all you need is lots and lots of mammal piss." True. Poop just speeds it up. I had to live in a $!@#)&^@$ townhouse . . .

Posted by: Matt at September 14, 2005 06:09 AM (10G2T)

45 Howard Hughes used to save it in Mason jars.

Posted by: Casca at September 14, 2005 09:59 AM (qBTBH)

46 "Survey after survey says the the most recognized sound in the world is someone racking a shotgun." That is not true. The most recent surveys now show that the most recognized sound in the world is the sound of a barking squirrel. Or is that a fart, i can't remember now.

Posted by: annika at September 15, 2005 07:40 AM (o9z5e)

47 my mistake, was looking at 2000+fps 40 gr 22 MAGNUM, rounds can be found at; http://www.cheaperthandirt.com/ctd/dept.asp?dept%5Fid=203003&imgid=&categname=Rimfire+Ammunition&dept%5Fname=Dynamit+Nobel%2DRWS&mscssid=0RHP87BP5AWC9K4D5DEU0P2R00FGAG12 though they are not cheap... The 22lr rounds I will likely be picking up are; http://www.cheaperthandirt.com/ctd/product.asp?dept%5Fid=203009&sku=68074&imgid=&mscssid=0RHP87BP5AWC9K4D5DEU0P2R00FGAG12 unless someone has suggestions for better rounds at around the same price or other extenuating considerations.

Posted by: will at September 16, 2005 07:08 AM (GzvlQ)

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